the modern, well-educated WOMAN - what does she want?

Hello! How's it going?

Yesterday i attended the said book club & again was not disappointed. Being me, dying to be back in school & revive some creativity, this was therapy. The one thing i really, truly love about being part of a book club is that it gives the book you've read more depth, if that means anything. I wasn't done reading Catherine Lim's Miss Seetoh in the World when i attended the meeting last night, i was up until chapter 6 & had 14 more chapters to go but it was really building up for me. I liked it & thought 'everyone's going to give it a thumbs up, or two'. But NO. Much to my surprise, a third of the members did not like it. Very interesting.

The different views allowed for us to think about parts of the book that we didn't think much of until it was brought to light by another member. So your idea of the book forms only the root & with the addition of ideas from separate perspectives, it becomes a tree. Branching out into more avenues for thought. A tree of knowledge. You think creatively without paying tuition. I like it.

Miss Seetoh is a polished, poised, well-educated lady who made the decision to slip into a marriage with a man she did not love, or at least thought that she did. Set in Singapore sometime in the 60s, where reservation was still well maintained by tradition, she was stuck.. being a woman. A passionate lover of the English language, she became a teacher much adored by her students for her fun & unconventional methods of teaching. All she ever longed for was freedom. First she wanted to have her own bed because she had shared hers with her mother until she got married, then she wanted her own room, her own house, & of course, her own life made by her own decisions. She was a modern lady shackled by tradition or family pressure, a conservative society, a pressing government, & more than anything, womanhood.

Seetoh realizes shortly after her honeymoon that her marriage was doomed to fail. He so passionately in love with her and she, so full of regrets. The ultimate one being her accepting his hand in marriage. She & her husband were part of a community of devout catholics & divorce was unthinkable & not to mention, a solution that was not within her reach. She wasn't afraid of God as much as she was afraid of society at large. It spiraled down further when her husband became a monster fed by his insecurities which developed since he discovered that this love was not mutual. He died not long later & she had her freedom. Or did she?

I won't discuss the different views on this book but some of the things running through my mind right now..
What's the definition of freedom for a woman?
How long can you enjoy that private sanctuary you call personal space aka freedom before your maternal nature intrudes?
Does it even matter - maternity?
Is this what every brilliant, well-educated, modern woman grapple with - freedom vs. marriage?
Is marriage really nothing more than a dark, suffocating dungeon or do they just scare themselves so much?
When a woman loves her craft with vicious passion, does she lose her interest to become a woman more than to become a great artist?
Finally, the modern woman is so resistant & never wants to submit - is she too narcissistic? Or worse, just plain selfish?

UNIFEM Book Club - Miss Seetoh in the World

Welcome back to Monday (snores)! We had a nice weekend, didn't we?

Just a giving everyone a heads up about the UNIFEM Book Club. The dates are out but i might be accused of posting this too late. Bummer. I'm really sorry!

The UNIFEM Book Club is open to any of us who's interested to discuss global issues affecting women. It covers everything from abuse, oppression, freedom, poverty, education & etc. I don't consider it a feminist event because from the last one i attended, the ladies did mention it'll be great to hear a gentleman's point of view about these topics. I really urge you to come & join us because it's refreshing, engaging, & really inspirational.

I do recommend that you keep an open mind about the discussion. Once, we discussed about the highly controversial French government's ban against the 'burka'. Interesting to openly discuss something i understand better as a muslim myself. You needn't always agree, you can voice your own views & create your own standpoint from the different ideas & information collected from these mentally stimulating, friendly, & cosy meetings. Love it!

Here's the info on the coming book club (in 2 days to be exact, eek!)


Miss Seetoh In The World
by local author Catherine Lim.

Wednesday, 26 January 2011
7:00pm to 9:00pm
UNIFEM Office, No. 2 Nassim Road

Also, join UNIFEM on Facebook & follow them on Twitter.

Hope to see you there!

Happy Eid al-Adha!

Happy Monday! I know i'm many days late but if you'll excuse me, i'd still like to wish Happy Eid al-Adha! I had a fantastic time with my paternal side of the family. All the food, the catch-ups, the mischief (i can't believe we still have it in us) & all the merry stuff put together under one roof. Urgh, so heartwarming.

You know, i vehemently love traditional malay festive food but we both have quite a strange history, as if we were never meant to be. So as with every year, i fell ill the day after. I mean really ill & ill through the next 4 days. I find this so perplexing because i don't even consume all the good stuff as much as i hope to! I'm vexed! Is there anyone out there experiencing this phenomena?
Another thing that i so habitually do, is take a few moment every Eid to reminisce Cirebon, Indonesia. A life changing place & a trip i so strongly value. In the muslim calendar, there are two perfect seasons for charity & in my humble opinion, there's just no better way to celebrate it than to make the less fortunate people really happy!

Hint: if any of you guys think you have the resources & contacts for a chance to do charity work in another part of the world next Eid, please contact me!

P.s if you haven't already, read the Cirebon experience here.

Cirebon, the place that changed my life

The experience from my trip to Cirebon, Indonesia cannot be bounded by words. Many times, i try to write an account of it and as many times, i fail. It disappoints me. I hadn’t traveled all the way to Cirebon to shoot the breeze about life there, i truly wanted to share what i've brought home. Something special and life-changing.

It was as if we were on a mission and like all secret agents, i knew perfectly what we had planned like it was the back of my hand. Secretly also, i knew Indonesia more than i cared to admit and figured i was in her favour. In my image of her, i saw vast fields stretched out in the absence of cars and many villagers hard at work. The air charged with labour but smelt like a cool September day. Little did i know or expect, i was in actual fact just an unsuspecting victim.

The flight to Jakarta was arduous. We were stuck with more baggage than we were allowed and was short of a few people who were meant to come. Sally's mom demonstrated all the warmth and personality of a typical loving mother and for that the journey soon relaxed. Upon arrival, we met with the hospitality of Cik Neng's family. It was merry and i liked watching everyone exchange hugs and kisses and schmooze from where they left off the last time. The bus ride was something else. We had a coach bus to ourselves and it was cosy and full of food for us but the ride was close to 7 hours and it was too fast and too bumpy to have much sleep. It was a cool experience though.

Cik Neng's family live in a little shop house, 3rd round the bend from a stretch of shop houses alike. It was a family business, they sold and supplied mostly home-made crackers. In it was 4 tonnes of rice in huge sacks, ready to be repacked and distributed by us. A narrow path next to it led us to the family's new and near empty bungalow, where we stayed for the rest of our trip. Historically, Cirebon flourished under the graceful influence of an indonesian muslim missionary, his shrine rests on the peaceful peak of Gunung Jati, which was pleasantly just across the road from our house.

You see, Cirebon as i have least expected, is a busy suburb. Motorcycles came from everywhere, dirt roads are extensive and many, push carts selling food and toys lined them. But deeper into where we stayed, perched many houses that seemed like only shelters which were severely rusting and falling apart, some had no floors, many had thin, leaking roofs and some had not something i'd consider a door. Hardship is uncommon but the people were strong and unflinching, they continue to live honestly and help each other within the village like they were a team more than mere neighbours. These sights proved to be very damaging for self-reflection.

On Eid Al-adha, Sally's family chose their goats and went ahead with the slaughter which i intentionally avoided. Within minutes, neighbours have gathered to help pack the fresh meat for distribution. Those who came to get a bag of rice, some rupiahs, clothes and meat from us were dominantly frail elder folks, who had walked the whole way there. Many were ill, widows, or lived alone. Their voices praying for us, thanking us, the look of content on their faces were not meant to forget. I'll never forget.

I spent a number of days with the charming boys who played outside the house, i was fooled by their wayward games because they were much sweeter than they appeared. With them, i was a denizen of Cirebon. They had no toys and nothing much, so they climbed and sang and created games from scraps they found. I discovered i'm quite a marksman with the air rifle we toyed with. We loaded metal pellets and shot at cups, containers and such. Didn't know i was a chip off the old block.

One time, i was walking up to the house from the shop, and saw the boys squatting in a tiny circle. One held a piece of cardboard over their heads and i couldn't make out what the rest were doing. I soon found out they were watching a little fire they've created between two bricks and was barbecuing satay with the fresh meat from the slaughter. They of course offered me some and i gladly took a stick, it was good and I was so blown away by them.

I had wished on my journey back to Jakarta, a 5 hour bus ride, that I want cirebon to live with me forever, vivid and reminding. Though i hate to admit it, i was a little homesick by the time we left. But landing safely and being greeted by our world class airport was as disappointing as waving goodbye to Paman. A sigh marks my welcome home to the fast and bitter city life.

WAR IS OVER! (IF YOU WANT IT)

Print & display in your window, school, workplace, car & elsewhere over the holiday season, and send as postcards to your friends.

If you don't see your language here, then send us your translation of
WAR IS OVER!
IF YOU WANT IT
Happy Christmas from John & Yoko
so we can make a poster for your language.

The enchanting Yoko Ono calls for a peaceful protest every Christmas and i'm in this year. For some time now, i've been on a hunt for budget-friendly gifts and ideas this Christmas but nothing quite does it like this nostalgic print.

This is in Bahasa Indonesia. Is it any different in malay?

Dear John & Yoko,
Your love will pave the way for peace in the world, someday. Thank you for believing. Imagine peace.

underneatheradar

Just recently, my brother designed a logo for a friend of ours who, along with a collective of her friends, became involved in the Singapore Indie Documentary Festival. Her team, underneatheradar, brought down a number of documentaries and shorts tackling poverty, politics, mass consumption, and social issues. I am deeply moved and take my hats off to them. Ah, this is superb.

I am very passionate about this line of work but unlike them, i failed to do much in the fight except whine about not having time, inspiration and resources. Just watching the success of this team blew me away. I salute.

Please support this, my dears!I reckon it's going to be inspirational and hopefully, life changing for us. See you there!

Visit underneatheradar.net and the official SIDF website.