jazz for a rainy afternoon

Happy holiday! The monsoon is here, so it's raining beautifully outside again & we are all relaxing, taking a day off from our knee jerking morning routines at the desk aren't we?

As at this moment, i am absolutely relaxed. Really just chilling out. It's cold & gorgeous, i've got a playlist of the best jazz for this weather, i'm not fussing about not having any plans or if i would get to run at all today.. i'm going to just cruise through the afternoon, feeling so blessed.

Ahh.. indeed, the best things in life are free.

Here's some superb music that can't be anymore apt for this surreal afternoon. So go on, dim the house, have a cuppa, listen to the rain, kick back & relax. Here's to life, everyone.

have yourself some girly time, if you're feeling me

I've been feeling my way around solitude lately. Trying to find some space, trying to get centered and really just reaching deep into my soul to fling out a very bashed up Maria for a little chat. My mind is scattered & i'm not digging it.

For years, i've been on a roll to set the stage perfect so that the foundations of my life are powerful for me to grow forth from here. Don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. I love living life on the fast lane and being unstoppable because time is most perishable. BUT.

I spent this year, making big decisions for my life. Huge. They materialised & i see the fruits of my labour. Now that i'm here at the summit of my own mountain, why don't i feel any different? I should be feeling extremely accomplished to have ticked almost everything on my life's list at my youth's peak, right? I don't.

I've learnt that i am fed up and simply exhausted because boy oh boy, don't i just love to vacuum the life out of myself? But these days.. Ahhh these days. I give up. I spend too much time shuttling between planning, being worried, trying to sort every single thing out..

Now, i'm going to cut the crap and eat the apples of my hard work.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time i told myself "do this, you DESERVE it" or submit to the temptations of splurging on myself just because. I can't remember the last time i did something pampering without feeling guilty. I can't even remember the last time i plucked my eyebrows correctly, what more perfectly. Heck, i don't remember the last time i felt like a queen. All dolled up, feeling like a million dollars, pampered even if for just a little while?

So guess what. I'm going on vacation though not literally. I'm going to put all that energy that i put on driving high speed through my life into MYSELF.

I'm taking many off days ahead to have 'me' time. To drop everything and listen to my own heart for decisions, to listen to my body for healing, to tap myself on the back for doing what i did right, to pray with gratitude for life but simultaneously break the monotony of it to be alive. Most importantly, to love me like i should be loved.

My mind, heart and soul is on a holiday.

Because hell yeah, i DESERVE it.

last weekend at Farmer's Market

Visiting the (now) fortnightly Farmer's Market has always been on my list but i've never really gave it a go, up until last weekend. Definitely the best morning i've had in a really long time. Breakfast + sampling almost everything they had there. The discovery of Spanish tortas is delightful & so is sampling cheeses as you make your rounds.

Enjoyed lovely little chats with these passionate vendors about their products, hometown, going organic and all that jazz. Learnt much, had fun & will definitely head down more often. Not your average market place & a break from your regular Cold Storage hits. Go!

More info on Farmer's Market & the idea behind it.

Have A Cool & Beautiful Monday!

The rain is notorious & endless. For as much as i'm freezing & fussily shuttling around in my little rain trench, i'm really grateful for the rain. My idea of majestic beauty. Let's enjoy it before our hot & humid weather comes to stay for a long while starting March.

On a separate note, see if you can relate to this. Something i constantly strive for. (p.s it's strange but it's got everything i love to do in it. EVERYTHING.)

My sentiments exactly.

dirt biking weekend

Yea, that's right. The word 'dirt' was just too seductive to my nature-hungry being at the time my cousin brought up the idea. So i gave it a go. It was my her birthday & i really want to give back to everyone who's been a huge part of my life, as best as i can. She wanted to try this & i thought, why not?
So we got on a bumboat & headed for the sleepy town of Pengerang just south of Desaru, Johor, Malaysia. Simple, quiet, laid-back & kampung food - perfect. I was in love. And what better way to visit such a place if not to try something new, right?
So i got a pitbike or a 'pocket bike'. Tiny like a little bicycle. Not my first time riding a bike but that didn't help one bit. I couldn't get the throttling right! Embarrassingly, my cousin locked it in within minutes! She was happily making her turns, trying different gears.

My man's zoomed off to a completely different course, leaving us newbies to learn around a cute little dirt loop. I'm thoroughly envious! But you know, i'm optimistic. Maybe even a dreamer. Someday soon, i want to ride with you on a big ass bike too!
As soon we got to the trail, i was so comfortable zooming everywhere! So much fun! So i won the challenge i made for myself. Hooray! I had a little accident though but you'll never hear of it. Haha.
Fun-filled weekend on the whole. I'll give it a 10 for everything. New experience, new skill, sleepy town, nature, friendly people, kampung lunch, amazing company & a very happy cousin. Looking forward to trying this out again & a little more constantly!

Hope everyone had a splendid weekend too & having a good week so far! I'm not in my element these past couple of days, i'm feeling really lethargic! Determined to be back in shape before the weekend. 3 more days everybody! Let's go!

when life gives you lemons,,

Plop it into your iced tea! This is my favourite: caesar salad + iced tea, at my favourite cafe. Oh and this new book i'm reading is truly a masterpiece. Hope to share that with you soon! True love in little packages, bursting pockets of surprises. dududuhhhh~

So excited about the new year! It's been a wonderful year but i'm looking forward to all the big projects that i have planned. A few personal upgrades, a few travel destinations & plenty of big, grown-up decisions to make. A brand new journey that's bigger, better, faster. This is about to get interesting, so ready for some real action & adventure.

Also a little note for a very sad Gyira. Hope you'd pick up a book, smoke some fags & have girly time. You'll be back in shape in no time. Here's hoping for better days ahead! I promise to recommend some books & do a little review soon since i once told you i would but never did. xoxo

Happy Wednesday, my sweets!

The Blue Hues & Black Swan

It's Wednesday! But i am just so blue. The office is almost empty & all my friends are scattered all over town going about their own business. By business i mean, shopping, chilling out, watching a movie, you get the drift right? What's left for me, you ask? There can only be the hourly attempts to chase the blues away. So far i've got all my old hip hop tracks on my ipod and that's good company alright? i mean, aiiiight?

In case you're hit by the same hues, watch this trailer (that is also if you haven't already). My god, how genius? I've got my eye patch on & the other one on this film for the weekend. Stoked!



A day and a half left to go & we're ready to unwind. Enjoy the day, good people!

Jamie makes pancakes with Daisy & Poppy.

Spent my weekend catching up with TLC (travel & living channel) & sleeping in. I think i watched countless episodes of Jamie's Family Christmas & absorbed a few awesome recipes i intend to try this Christmas. Overall, a very relaxing & quiet weekend.

Honestly, i'm not completely over it so i'm gonna take this time to extend a little bit of my weekend and chase away the blues with this intensely adorable episode of Jamie & his girls cooking pancakes. Too cute!

letters & friends

Remember my lovely friend Lizzy? Well, she sent me a message not too long ago to ask what i thought about writing letters to each other. My answer? "Yes, please!". There's nothing i love more than pretty paperie, getting ambitiously crafty and continuing a wonderful friendship the old-fashioned way. Which in my opinion, being the traditionalist that i am, feels truly sincere & expressive. Digital mediums just can't do it the way letters can, however way you cut it. Only my thoughts though!

We haven't officially started writing to each other just yet. Liz will land in the UK in about 2 weeks and as soon as she's settled in, she'll send me her first letter with her mailing address so i can write back. I cannot wait!

P.S have you heard of the Benevolent Postcard Society? I've posted about them sometime ago and i'm still smittened by this charming project. Wouldn't it be so nice to form a tiny club of people from different corners of the world to exchange postcards and well wishes?

on not being a 'morning person'

hello everybody, how's the week been?

I endured a whole week of drama & it's been very draining but i'm glad everything is moving to normality already. last night, i did what i thought i would never be able to do. With just a drop of discipline (that means resisting the urge to meet the boy for dinner) & a whole day of tolerating a sleep-deprived headache as well as coughing spells, i hibernated. I slept from 7.30pm (i kid you not) all the way through this morning. I feel so good now!

This will be yet another confession but is there any of you who identifies yourself as 'not-a-morning-person'? & somewhat know that has created a barrier in your life for many years? Well, i am that person, at least not shamelessly. I was thinking long and hard about this all morning & i reflected upon days when i feel great at work & everything just work towards how i want it to, then it finally seeped into my thick skull that i've been in denial all along. All i needed, ALL ALONG, was early nights & good sleep!

Ahh, if you're anything like me, you know that you've dished out all possible excuses to not come to terms with this FACT. So discipline, for the most part of it, is what i'm lacking! Which i sadly & with shame admit that i have a long way to go with that.

And then, that again boils down to what your resolutions are right? While it is highly debatable that New Year resolutions are any help at all, i say that it doesn't hurt a damn bit to take a stab at it. I mean, there's nothing to lose except to risk gaining something healthy for you & your life. So one of my new year's resolution from last year was to think, with a conscious effort, how i can be better everyday. I'll tell you as it is, it doesn't escalate daily. Some days, you back down a bit & shed the black of your stripes. Or even, without realising, you've started a brand new department of a problem while addressing & successfully zapping the others. It's daily, it's constant & it's all part of being human.

On top of struggling to be a better person by thinking about how i can achieve that, i also feed myself with materials that i know is food for my soul. Overall, i think it's done me a world of good. Most importantly, it can never and should never stop.

So my current priority is to get enough sleep. Do you have your shortcomings from not being a morning person?

where is lucy-fur?

The sweetest cat in the world went missing last night. I've been an emotional wreck since! It's not like her to roam far away from the house as she can be quite timid. She follows me around the house everyday, so i knew something was fishy when she didn't last night. We've searched everywhere and are so worried. It rained all night and i recall how my aunt first found her before we adopted our little baby- hiding between the wheel of a car, shivering, wet & afraid.

I'm going to start printing out posters and have them up all around the neighbourhood. So devastated..

in hiding

It's one of those days. Feeling really sick, i just want to curl up in bed and hide myself from the world.

I'm starting to feel a little depressed but i'm too old for that.

See you when i get better. I hope that's tomorrow. xx

a little late today..

Sorry. If you're wondering where i've been, i'm just right here in front of the screen, finger clicking and eyes darting all over the web. January's almost over and though i'm so pleased with how this year started, i'm still trying to pump it up further as we go along the months. With respect to my blog, i'm already on the mill getting a few new things started and running so i am actually suggesting you stick around and watch them unfold.

For a quick update..

I'm working on trying to get my camera fixed or replaced because blogging isn't the same without it.

My brother's churning out a rad blog so stay tuned.

Cease to cook temporarily until i own a functioning camera and a mentally stimulated mind.

No projects for now but i'm looking for a book club to be a part of. If you know any, please comment and share. You'll be rewarded with good karma, i'm certain.

Sharing with you some favourite old visuals in the next few days, ie sexy smoking images and some sick homes. So be ready and let's meet back here tomorrow.

this much of the new year..

Ahh.. Looks like a promising start of the year or the start of a promising year? I did a little soul search back in Bali and it proved to be very inspiring. My bub and i have been rethinking our pursuits and made the decision to place ourselves in a different arena this year. We intend to be more ambitious, more together and live life with humour, creativity, gusto and zeal. More than anything, we want to be the best that we can be together as a team taking on a new lifestyle.

How's the new year treating you?

movies and a vacation

I've just watched this! It's charming and very moving. Adam has Asperger's syndrome and from the trailer you can actually tell that he's brilliant but as with every person suffering from asperger's, he is very socially awkward. In this movie he falls in love with his neighbour, a beautiful writer of childrens' stories, who teaches him how to blend into society and live like a normal person. I won't go any further, you have to watch it and see how that worked out.

I say it makes a sweet movie for a date. My boyfriend has made me promise that we'll stay in one of these days and watch Adam while eating caesar salad (which is his flavour of the moment), and i gladly did so.

Also, i managed to watch The Fourth Kind at 4am new year's day with my two favourite boys. Very disturbing, intense, and interesting. If you love sci-fi or have a strange fascination with alien life form then this one's for you. I loved it!

In other news, i'm vacationing this Thursday! Yay! I'm paying Bali another visit and will be there for a week. I've been such an atrocious blogger, i've not even updated about Cirebon and now i'm already leaving for elsewhere.

So tomorrow's short term goal is- upload pictures and blog about Cirebon. Got it.

2010- purposeful

Day 1 2010

My bestfriend baked her first cake yesterday and it was a yummy success. Check out her 'peace' cake, isn't it so cute? It's a great statement to begin the new year with and she did a fabulous job.

I'm assuming everyone is staying in today? To recover from yesterday's celebration and take complete advantage to chill out while it rains beautifully outside? I had a great time last night with the people i love and oh, what better way to usher in the new year if not with your favourites?

On another note, i'm not doing very well today. First day of the new year and i am down with the flu. I'm about to go have a nap again. Hope you guys are enjoying the holiday!

squeezed for time

Errands day today, will be running around. See you on the morrow. Just a question though, has everyone slowed down on blogging? Haven't seen much updates lately from you guys. Throw in something interesting so i'll be inspired to do the same, instead of lying around in bed with a throbbing headache. Better days ahead, i pray. <3

a morbid recollection

My resolutions for 2010 is still work-in-progress. Oddly enough this time, i am critical and unrelenting. Looking at my posts these couple of weeks, i seem to haven't said much about the goings-on in my life except to drop a few daily inspirations. My guess did not take me very far, so a closer inspection revealed that the only plausible explanation would be that reservations have grown with age. And that my friends, is occurring rather rapidly. It is going to sound fairly depressing but months now feel like years and i'm weighed down by many worldly ideals that pair with being an adult. To further severe my case, i am a middle class kid who was granted the misfortune of having to be born into an expensive city. There is also no need to remind you that i am at the edge of the adolescent bluff. I'm 21 and even that is almost over.

So as my hunt for inspiration steadily came to a halting failure late yesterday, i logged into my old friendster account out of desperation. Have you seen it? Reckon it got bought over by another company and given a face lift. Not too shabby. It's not like i was sure why i did it but for whatever the reason is, it proved to be more than what i had originally bargained for. Trying to retrieve my first 100 comments was no use, i should've known that you can never trust sites like this with your priceless treasures i.e first 'testimonial' from your boyfriend which would've been whimsical to discover. Anyway, they're very capable of screwing everything up beyond repair, hence the makeover and new operation. (Note to self- watch out for Face Book)

Consolation was that i found my old blog. They've restored it with a tacky layout but otherwise, nothing's changed. The ghost of that blog beckons me to wander into the mind of 18 year old Maria, angsty and crazy in love, i did that for a good 3 hours. Well, it doesn't look like i've grown out much from my morbid disposition but i'm not worrying about that yet.

Younger Maria was detailed, she wasn't half as a caught up with the real world as i, obviously, so it afforded her time to think deep into pertinent details like her love and emotions or something that made her terribly upset that day. She was so sensitive and wouldn't allow anything that moved her get away without some kind of reaction. She was more delicate and indulged in her love for poetry and her craft but little did she know that soon after dwelling deep into art and injuring a knee, she'd develop an obsession for politics and culture shifts. I'd say those were the responsible factors that popped me out of my shell and here i am today, exiled from the innocent paradise that once existed in my head 3 years ago.

These days i corrupt myself with speeches from Malcolm X and Dada artworks while adversely channeling healthier inspirations and the things i love to do as a normal, functioning woman of the society into this blog to save my life and mind. While some remnants of younger Maria remained, many have changed forever. That is so to prepare for the real world that now welcomes me.

Going back to constructing my resolutions. Bet you didn't realise, i'm back at my ugly habit again and that's staying up into the small hours! Well anyway, Happy Friday! Weekend's here!

rough

Funked and disoriented so i'll be right back. See you honeys on the morrow! ♥

happy weekend!

I am a mess right now. My weekend is jammed pack! Jammed packed the good way, thankfully. Who's going to Zoukout? I'm giving it a miss this year (yet again). It's Sam's last day in Singapore and she wants to take the party elsewhere. So have fun guys! For the rest of us not partying, what are you guys up to? I'm looking forward to an immense catch up with my boyfriend since we've not seen each other for close to a week now and it's starting to hurt a little. Wouldn't it be nice to even do a little dance with him? In case you didn't know, he's actually a brilliant dancer and he loves it. Only shy. ;)

Have a dance-y weekend!